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Magic Merlin Casts a Sexy Spell

from The 4​,​000​-​Year​-​Old Virgin by DragonCum

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lyrics

Merlin: For two days and two nights I watched the dragons do battle over the kingdom of Cumalot. It broke my heart to see such
turmoil after the recent era of peace. Yet despite their hatred for one another, I knew all along that they would eventually
become friends. Colleagues ...in the pursuit of ass.

Stitzer: I don't want to fight anymore. I need guidance. I'm all alone in this strange new world of ...trying to get laid...

Bubba: It has been many moons since I lost my virginity. However, there is so much I can teach you, if you are willing
to lay down your arms and become my apprentice ...in ass acquisition.

Stitzer: I will do as you ask and we will strike a truce ...yet I fear that even with all the magic in the world on my
side, I will never get any ...ass...

Merlin: Fear not, Saint Stitzer.

Bubba: Magic Merlin? Where did you come from?

Merlin: I've been watching your battle from afar, and now I bring grave news...

Stitzer: What news, old man?

Merlin: King Cocksmoker's spirit is still without rest. He has escaped from hell. He will rise empowered by the dark
forces of the underworld retake the realm.

Bubba: Over my dead fucking body.

Merlin: It may come to that, but in your favor, I have cast a certain spell...

Stitzer: What spell have you cast, mighty wizard?

Merlin: A spell bound by your oath to get Saint Stitzer laid, Bubba Supreme.

Bubba: Oh?

Merlin: Mark my words... If you can get the saint laid by All Hallows Eve, King Cocksmoker will be banished back to hell
This I swear to you...

Stitzer: But how?! All Hallows Eve will soon be upon us. I'll never get laid in time.

Bubba: Don't be so sure. As I told you before, I have much to teach you. There are lessons to be learned.

Stitzer: Lessons?

Bubba: Yes. Lessons in Pimpness...

credits

from The 4​,​000​-​Year​-​Old Virgin, released October 31, 2021

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DragonCum Buffalo, New York

Bubba Supreme - male clean and harsh vocals

Magic Merlin - guitars

Mrs. Supreme - female operatic vocals/orchestration

King Cocksmoker - bass

Saint Stitzer - Drums ... more

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