1. |
||||
|
Now let me tell you the story of Saint Stitzer, the Dragon-King of Vagland
He is an ancient beast of an irritated sort, whose best friend might be his right hand
Surrounded by lady dragons of the most attractive breed
He's taken a vow of celibacy, no female knows his seed
For 4,000 years, his life of sainthood in defense of the kingdom suited him well
But as he reaches his four thousandth year, his life is becoming pure hell
Now consumed with pent up rage, with only anger left to bestow
He sets his eyes on conquest to win himself a hoe
In the friend zone, he's lived for four millennia and his time is running out
But in the land of Cumalot, only one other dragon fills his mind with doubt
King Bubba Supreme of Cumalot gets all the ladies at will
But when the 4,000-year-old virgin comes to town, it's Bubba he means to kill
No longer will I live in the shadows
The friend zone cannot hold me
The King of Cumalot will soon be dead
And I will get laid at last
|
||||
2. |
Virgin Nightmare
03:43
|
|||
|
No more Mister Nice Guy
After four millenia of celibacy
My life of sainthood has become a nightmare
And I don't want it anymore
My will is fading away...
I lack the courage to stay...
I can't lie to myself anymore
There is always tomorrow to save the day
Right now, there's something else on my mind
Right now, I've simply got to get laid
Rudely awakened from my slumber after a long night of doin' it dragon style
I can see Saint Stitzer drawing near, but something isn't right
I'll burn this whole kingdom down with my fiery seed
If I don't get some ass, if I don't get what I need
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
I've been waiting for so long
To get some ass, to get some ass
It's so hard, I can't go on
If this doesn't end soon, I'm going to explode
Something is moving below
Something is twitching in my trousers
Just want to end my pain
By starting a firestorm
Firestorm of self-gratification!
No stopping me now...
I'm going to cum now...
This is a firestorm that you'll never forget
Pouring out of me until the last drop
I'm going to light this bitch up
Until all of my seed is spread across the land
|
||||
4. |
Target Practice
02:44
|
|||
|
TARGET PRACTICE!
Here cums a dragon with a broken spirit
A heart torn apart by a trip to the friend zone
There's nothing worse than a pair of blue balls
But when a dragon jerks it, the kingdom burns down
You were the king back where you came from
But out here, you're target practice at best
You've been a virgin for 4,000 years
But whose fault is that? Whose fault is that?
Sorry you lived your life serving others
Didn't you think you would suffer?
You'll never get laid by passing the blame...
You're just target practice...
"Saint Stitzer, you've just made the biggest mistake of your life...
It was you who decided to hold in your load for 4,000 years...
So if anyone deserves to drown in dragon cum, it is you..."
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
Merlin: For two days and two nights I watched the dragons do battle over the kingdom of Cumalot. It broke my heart to see such
turmoil after the recent era of peace. Yet despite their hatred for one another, I knew all along that they would eventually
become friends. Colleagues ...in the pursuit of ass.
Stitzer: I don't want to fight anymore. I need guidance. I'm all alone in this strange new world of ...trying to get laid...
Bubba: It has been many moons since I lost my virginity. However, there is so much I can teach you, if you are willing
to lay down your arms and become my apprentice ...in ass acquisition.
Stitzer: I will do as you ask and we will strike a truce ...yet I fear that even with all the magic in the world on my
side, I will never get any ...ass...
Merlin: Fear not, Saint Stitzer.
Bubba: Magic Merlin? Where did you come from?
Merlin: I've been watching your battle from afar, and now I bring grave news...
Stitzer: What news, old man?
Merlin: King Cocksmoker's spirit is still without rest. He has escaped from hell. He will rise empowered by the dark
forces of the underworld retake the realm.
Bubba: Over my dead fucking body.
Merlin: It may come to that, but in your favor, I have cast a certain spell...
Stitzer: What spell have you cast, mighty wizard?
Merlin: A spell bound by your oath to get Saint Stitzer laid, Bubba Supreme.
Bubba: Oh?
Merlin: Mark my words... If you can get the saint laid by All Hallows Eve, King Cocksmoker will be banished back to hell
This I swear to you...
Stitzer: But how?! All Hallows Eve will soon be upon us. I'll never get laid in time.
Bubba: Don't be so sure. As I told you before, I have much to teach you. There are lessons to be learned.
Stitzer: Lessons?
Bubba: Yes. Lessons in Pimpness...
|
||||
6. |
Lessons in Pimpness
02:44
|
|||
|
I've waited so long to have my own way
I never thought I would get any
Back when I met you, you were my enemy
But now I'm thinking you're my only hope
Oh, won't you teach me?
Teach me your epic ways of being
a pimp daddy
Won't you help me?
Lessons in pimpness are all that can
save me
I used to think you were just in my way
I thought of ways I could kill you one day
But now I see myself under your wings
And now I'm thinking you're my only hope
Bubba Supreme: I will teach you the ways of the pimp daddy dragon
But once you have you learned all that I know, you must leave Cumalot forever
The ass of this land belongs to me
I share my kingdom with no one
|
||||
7. |
||||
|
King Cocksmoker: I've been waiting at the gates of hell for so, so long...
For some reason, I cannot enter, my soul cannot rest...
I still long for my revenge against that fucking scaly scumbag, Bubba Supreme...
...Wait. What's this? What's this I hear?! Saint Stitzer...the dragon-king of Vagland, and Bubba Supreme,
the dragon-king of Cumalot ...are now BROS in the pursuit of HOES?! Impossible!
That fat green fuck, Bubba Supreme, shall RUE the day he ever crossed KING COCKSMOKER!
I must have my revenge! ...Only now there are TWO dragon-kings keeping me from my eternal rest...
TWO dragon-kings now fly side-by-side ...one a pimp daddy, and one a pimp daddy in training...
Well, well, well... HOW BROMANTIC...
|
||||
8. |
How Bromantic
02:42
|
|||
|
How bromantic indeed...
What is this? On the horizon?
I cannot believe my dragon eyes!
Who is this? Who is this returning from the dead?
It can only be KING COCKSMOKER
KING COCKSMOKER APPROACHES
WE CAN'T LET THIS FUCKER WIN
How bromantic is this...
A hopeless virgin has found his niche
But if he gets laid, I will be dismissed
The curse will be broken, and I will be banished
BACK TO HELL...
There is so much work left to be done
Give me the strength so that the day will be won
King Cocksmoker: Saint Stitzer must never get ass
Not until my revenge is complete, so that my soul can rest...
I returned to Cumalot to vanquish my arch enemy, Bubba Supreme
But if the Saint must die as well, then so be it...
|
||||
9. |
Baby, I'm Back (Again)
03:55
|
|||
|
What up, ya'll?
King Cocksmoker in the house
Did ya miss me?
Gonna make you gag until you choke on my nutsack, bitch
Baby, I'm back and you're under attack
Gonna make you gag until you choke on my nutsack
I got one thing on my mind, think back and rewind
Ramming a spiky dildo up that dragon's behind
You're a little green bitch and I hate your fucking guts
You think you're such a pimp but you don't have any nuts
I got one thing on my mind, just think back and rewind
I'll jam my 12-foot sword up your scaly behind
All hail the king
King Cocksmoker
Baby, I'm back
Back again
Undead king on the loose
So ladies, watch your caboose
No time for games
I've got a job to do
You think I just sit around all day
And smoke my own cock, don't you?
Baby, I'm back, I look like a whole snack
Rising from the grave, heading for the love shack
When I kill that fucking dragon, I'll have lots of time to kill
Gonna spend it eating cocks, Oops, I mean pussy, oh well
|
||||
10. |
||||
11. |
||||
12. |
||||
|
Beware the curse of All Hallows Eve
The king has returned, a new foe will rise
But hope is only a cherry pop away...
He's a saint in the streets!
A dragon in the sheets!
Beware the king, a villain on a mission
He rises from the grave to be the death of fun
Evil drawing nearer
Destiny is clear
Lead me to a better life
One where I know a woman's touch
Hope is only a cherry pop away...
Now I know what it's like to have some pussy...
Bubba Supreme: At last, Saint Stitzer knows a woman's touch. I got my bitch ex-wife, Mrs. Supreme, to sleep with him.
And King Cocksmoker has thus been banished back to Hell...
|
||||
DragonCum Buffalo, New York
Bubba Supreme - male clean and harsh vocals
Magic Merlin -
guitars
Mrs. Supreme - female operatic vocals/orchestration
King Cocksmoker - bass
Saint Stitzer - Drums
... more
If you like DragonCum, you may also like:
Destination Destruction
by Satan's Fall
featured on Bandcamp Radio Nov 24, 2023
go to album
Divine Prosthetics
by Moral Collapse
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jun 9, 2023
go to album
Moral Collapse
by Moral Collapse
featured on Bandcamp Radio Apr 2, 2021
go to album
Dog Slayer(狗屠) - Sacred Eye
by Dog Slayer
The Chinese heavy-metal posse nod to AC/DC and Judas Priest across four sharpened, supremely-catchy tracks.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Mar 1, 2024
go to album
Blackened death metal riffs and Lovecraftian horror go hand-in-hand on the Seattle brutalists' ferocious eight-track epic.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Oct 27, 2023
go to album
